Post by cutthecrap on Nov 7, 2024 8:00:18 GMT
Paul Strummer and Topper Jones, known collectively as “Cut The Crap,” are in the ring, practicing moves and bantering between themselves. Their theme music, "London Calling" by The Clash, plays faintly from an old radio in the corner.
Paul Strummer: "Oi, Akira Tanaka, Kenji Nakamura! We’ve heard you two from Kashiwazaki BLOOD have been stomping around, all mysterious and deadly, spreading stories about how you're the baddest blokes to come out of Japan. And fair play to you—I've seen the tapes. The flips, the kicks, the face-pulling growls, it's good telly! But that flash and fury, it won’t save you this Saturday, not here in Blackpool!"
Topper Jones: "That's right! ‘Cut The Crap’ isn't just our name, it’s a way of life! We don’t do sneaky tactics, we don’t play mind games, and we’re not into big, ominous stables. No smoke and mirrors with us! You’ll be getting pure British grit, the real-deal wrestling that Blackpool knows and loves."
Paul Strummer: "Tanaka, ‘Dark Wolf,’ you might fancy yourself the alpha predator, prowling in the shadows and all. But, mate, here in Blackpool, we don't fear the dark—we run headfirst into it. You’re gonna be in there with two lads who won’t back down, who fight with every last ounce of energy. And, trust me, our Clash finisher isn’t just a move—it’s a statement. You get hit with it, you're down and out!"
Topper Jones: "And Kenji ‘The Dragon,’ you’re looking at the pair of lads who’ll be sending you right back to Japan breathing fire out of frustration! You might have moves sharper than a samurai's blade, but I bet you’ve never been whacked by a Yakuza Kick quite like mine!"
Paul Strummer: "Saturday night, Arena Blackpool, it's not just any tag match—it’s a showcase. It’s the day Cut The Crap puts Kashiwazaki BLOOD in their place. Tanaka and Nakamura, you’ll see what happens when two regular British blokes with a love for wrestling, and just a touch of aggression, get fired up. You might be top dogs where you’re from, but here, you’re just stepping stones on our path to the top!"
Topper Jones: "When the lights go up, it’s ‘Cut The Crap’ who’ll be standing tall, while you two are counting the lights on the ceiling. So bring your best, boys—just don’t expect it to be enough."
Strummer and Jones high-five each other and pose confidently for the camera as the segment fades out, “London Calling” crackling back to life on the radio.
Paul Strummer: "Oi, Akira Tanaka, Kenji Nakamura! We’ve heard you two from Kashiwazaki BLOOD have been stomping around, all mysterious and deadly, spreading stories about how you're the baddest blokes to come out of Japan. And fair play to you—I've seen the tapes. The flips, the kicks, the face-pulling growls, it's good telly! But that flash and fury, it won’t save you this Saturday, not here in Blackpool!"
Topper Jones: "That's right! ‘Cut The Crap’ isn't just our name, it’s a way of life! We don’t do sneaky tactics, we don’t play mind games, and we’re not into big, ominous stables. No smoke and mirrors with us! You’ll be getting pure British grit, the real-deal wrestling that Blackpool knows and loves."
Paul Strummer: "Tanaka, ‘Dark Wolf,’ you might fancy yourself the alpha predator, prowling in the shadows and all. But, mate, here in Blackpool, we don't fear the dark—we run headfirst into it. You’re gonna be in there with two lads who won’t back down, who fight with every last ounce of energy. And, trust me, our Clash finisher isn’t just a move—it’s a statement. You get hit with it, you're down and out!"
Topper Jones: "And Kenji ‘The Dragon,’ you’re looking at the pair of lads who’ll be sending you right back to Japan breathing fire out of frustration! You might have moves sharper than a samurai's blade, but I bet you’ve never been whacked by a Yakuza Kick quite like mine!"
Paul Strummer: "Saturday night, Arena Blackpool, it's not just any tag match—it’s a showcase. It’s the day Cut The Crap puts Kashiwazaki BLOOD in their place. Tanaka and Nakamura, you’ll see what happens when two regular British blokes with a love for wrestling, and just a touch of aggression, get fired up. You might be top dogs where you’re from, but here, you’re just stepping stones on our path to the top!"
Topper Jones: "When the lights go up, it’s ‘Cut The Crap’ who’ll be standing tall, while you two are counting the lights on the ceiling. So bring your best, boys—just don’t expect it to be enough."
Strummer and Jones high-five each other and pose confidently for the camera as the segment fades out, “London Calling” crackling back to life on the radio.